As I sit here on the eve of mine and Rick's 28th wedding anniversary, we would be finishing up our rehearsal dinner about now. It was a night to remember, but I remember it...barely.
The week before we were to be married, I came down with some sort of flu. I had never been that sick in my life. On Wednesday night, my high school chorus teacher came by my house to see me. All I really remember was she was there and I couldn't lift my head off the pillow. I felt awful.
By Friday, I was better, but I also had had an allergic reaction to the medicine. My mother, being the good nurse that she was, gave me a benadryl. The rehearsal is a blur. I only remember my father-in-law-to-be giving a sweet speech at dinner which was held at AJ's on Devine Street.
My heart's desire from the time I could speak was to be a wife and a mommy. The night before my heart's desire was to come true, I could hardly function, less remember.
Isn't that the way it is? We get our hopes up for something really special, pour time and effort into it, and because we've allowed our expectations to get out of control, we end up being disappointed. Why?
Psalm 37:4 says, "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." NIV
The answer to the "why" question is...because when we put so much delight in making our own plans, we forget that the Lord is our delight. Our plans will fail, but the Lord never fails or disappoints.
I've had to be taught this lesson many times over our 28 years of marriage, and I can say without a doubt, that the Lord has never failed me or disappointed me. I've disappointed Him and I've disappointed myself. I've questioned God about many things that I thought should have happened differently. He lets me rant, but then He brings me to my senses and lifts the veil of disappointment so I can see clearly that He always has my best interest at heart. When our desires are His desires, we are never disappointed. He will always give us the desires of our heart when we have a heart like His.
Tomorrow is our celebration day; the day when God gave me the first desire of my heart;
to be a wife.
Thank you, Jesus, for letting me remember that the wedding rehearsal was not what I needed to remember. The wedding ceremony was where you would fulfill my heart's desire, and that I do remember! Amen.